highlight of the day: my kiddo said hi to me :)) and i also had good conversation with a friend on the bus ride home
come one come all
’tis the season to take risks
junior year has been hard
things have been terrible for the past few days and things have been building up
in general, since this year has started, i’ve wanted to reach out to people
(oh the thing about me is that i only am willing to open up to certain people so it’s an absolute thing.)
anyways, i kept telling myself that it wasn’t that bad and to wait until it got worse
yesterday things happened and today they continued so in advisory i wrote this email to my biology teacher from last year. i was so hesitant to send the email..
- i didn’t know if she would respond
- i didn’t know if she remembered me
- i didn’t know if she would want to help
sometimes i don’t understand why people do things when it’s not their responsibility to
like in this case, since i don’t have this teacher anymore, she’s technically not responsible for me anymore
but i felt sososososo terrible (whoops no profanity) after 1st period today.
just the mindset of me needing to get through the day and not paying attention in class bc of that
and then getting called out in class by a teacher was great
i really needed to talk to someone.
so i asked my color guard friends whether it was appropriate to ask a previous teacher to listen to my life struggles because they’re good at giving advice
they said that it would be fine
it took me a while to press the send button because i was afraid
but i sent the email
i have asked my biology teacher a question on instagram before, but i didn’t know if that was appropriate, so i used email.
to: *insert teacher’s name*
subject line: i don’t know what to title this
Hello *insert teacher’s name*,
(heh whoops i didn’t know whether instagram was an okay place to message you so i’m using
junior year has been really really hard thus far and i was wondering if i could talk to you about life sometime and get advice and/or just have someone listen :00
thank you, Jessica
and then i put my phone down so that i wouldn’t focus on it and pretended that it never happened
10 minutes later she replied
oh my goodness it was scary seeing her name on my phone screen
Yes of course I am always here for you! I’m really glad you reached out to me. We could talk Wednesday during FLEX if you want – it’s a debate session, so we can go outside and talk, or Wed or Thurs during lunch work ok.
If those times don’t work, we will find another time 🙂
*insert teacher’s name*
and then i kind of shed a tear or two
like first of all, you’re always here for me? oh my.
second of all, i am so relieved that i reached out to you and that you’re here for me
third of all, i would love to sit outside instead of inside where everyone can listen to my life struggles
fourth, you offered other times in case this one didn’t work out
fifth, you said that if these times don’t work, that we will find another time
“will” instead of “can” you know ? it’s so intentional
(this is not me overanalyzing text like we do in english, i believe that there is intention in her choice of words)
oddly enough, this topic came up in conversation later with my color guard friend
she had opened up to her science teacher about something last year, and she and i were talking about how teachers are easier to open up to because they’re not paid to help you feel better/obligated to report what you say, while counselors at our school are
my biology teacher and i will be talking soon
i love her
in conclusion, i have the best teacher in the world
thank you for listening to my TED talk